He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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