I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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