Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
