He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize