I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize