I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
