Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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