??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
