i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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