After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
