my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
