you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Randomize
