At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
