So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
