How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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