"it" just moved
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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