this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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