On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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