Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize