just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My liver just had a heart attack.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
