I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
it glows. i had to have it.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
