My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
