Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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