It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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