Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
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I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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