He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
