So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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