Swine flu. Run for my life!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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