somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think people are normalizing furries
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
