I must be too annoying 4 u.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
