ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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