Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
