I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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