Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
