i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
