Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
