My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize