She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
