When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think your dad took our porno
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
