I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
