I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
