My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize