brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
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