some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
