Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize