You're a womanizer and a bitch.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
