my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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