Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
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I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
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Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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