For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize