You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
How's work?
Spinning.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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