Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
