No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
