we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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