i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
