tell your sister to shave her snatch
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
