I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
