i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
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I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
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I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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