never play flip cup with pint glasses
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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