I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
