Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
