just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I should be sponsored by Trojan
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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