paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
